Shy with the opposite sex?
Are you shy with the opposite sex? Do you have friends who are attracted to you, yet you don’t have any feelings for them?
Or do you have a crush on someone you’ve known for a long time yet have never gone beyond “friendly”?
If any of this sounds like you, you might be shy. It’s common for people to experience shyness when first contacting the opposite sex.
What is it about shyness that so many of us feel? And what can we do about it? Let’s answer these questions and find ways to overcome this problem.
One of the most challenging situations for shy people is meeting someone new. There are so many questions you need to ask, but often many scared people cannot come up with the words to say.
It is natural to be attracted to people different from us, but it is also customary to be a little shy with other people. Most people know if they are a “people pleaser, ” which is very likely to have stemmed from a timid and quiet person feeling they cannot express themselves. When you are scared, you often feel nervous, nervous about speaking and nervous that what you are going to say will be wrong. As a result, it can be difficult to get comfortable with other people.
Meeting someone new is especially difficult when that person is of the opposite sex. You have to find out the other person’s name, occupation, location, what they do for fun, their favourite food, and so much more. This can be overwhelming to shy people, but there are ways around this. One way is to have a list of questions or a cheat sheet for all the questions you want to ask. Another way is to have someone else ask the questions for you. Someone else can take a quiz online and send it.
Many of us are uncomfortable conversing with people of the opposite sex. That will get us nowhere. We fear conversing with someone of the other sex. Something that brings us to a halt occurs. Why do we worry?
We are not afraid to speak with members of our own sex. We are self-assured. We have a good sense of self-worth and regard ourselves as desirable. Why then? It’s as if a switch in the head is turned off and says no when conversing with people of the other sex.
What can be done in response to this? This is a psychological issue. Our thinking informs us that we are not deserving. We may be turned away. We may be mocked. Our mind cautions us to defend ourselves and states emphatically that we are not to approach someone of the other sex. This is the mental process. Either fight or flee.
In this instance, we take flight. However, with this fleeing, we will never find a suitable companion. We will always remain alone and longingly observe other couples as they go about their business. Therefore, what should we do?
The first step is to analyse ourselves and compare ourselves to our friends in these instances. Are we as astute as they? Are we on a par with them in terms of intelligence? Are we as self-assured as they are? Are we as well-dressed as they are? Is our personality just as admirable?
You may discover that you are scoring more points than your buddies on most of these concerns. Thus, one point has been established. You are a desirable individual. If your buddies are not shy, what makes you feel that way? Gather your courage and approach individuals of the other sex with assurance.
Do not be concerned about rejections. There might be several causes for this. Approach with tact, and you will undoubtedly find a suitable date—best of luck.