Jealousy is when a person becomes upset, angry or resentful for some reason and expresses that anger by attacking their partner.
Jealousy in relationships is often associated with the idea that a partner is cheating. But, jealous behaviour and even the expression of jealousy can go beyond a partner’s having a relationship or having sex with someone else.
Jealousy is a problem when it is over the top, when you go on obsessive, intense, and irrational rages over someone that may be nothing in the end, when jealousy turns into something like obsessive-compulsive disorder.
What Causes Jealousy?
A number of things can cause jealousy. Jealousy can be about something small, like a partner being nice to someone else, or it can be about a larger issue. It can be about a partner being less available or more available.
Jealousy is bad because it stops relationships in their tracks. The moment that you feel that this person might be leaving you for someone else is the moment when you have to ask yourself – is this good for me? Is this the person I want? You may be angry because you feel that you are being replaced and you feel left out. But the truth is that jealousy can be dangerous for your relationship. You have to find out if this person is worth your time and attention. When you feel threatened, it means that you no longer love that person the way you used to, and that is the beginning of the end of the relationship. This is something that nobody should have to go through.
Jealousy in Relationships
Getting the perfect partner in an ideal relationship is not impossible to happen. But using the word, “perfect”, doesn’t mean it’s the complete pieces of the puzzle-like how everybody wants it to be.
Instead, it could be full of flaws. Yet, for you, it is perfect. It is more on how you want it to be. It is more about having a relationship which suits your personality and lifestyle. In short, it is more of having a partner that you can call your soul mate.
Nevertheless, problems are always part of a relationship. So before achieving that perfect state that you wanted, experiencing sacrifices, trials and hardships is the best teacher for you to say you have learned to become better. Some of these trials come and go. Some stay for a long time and test your relationship, while some disappear like a bubble.
One of the issues your relationship may face is this big word, jealousy. No matter how understanding and careful you are in your relationship, jealousy is a normal feeling you will face. There’s nothing to bother at all. Nonetheless, it should not be taken for granted either. It is healthy for you to feel that jealousy, but there could be disadvantages when disregarded over time.
Here are some details about it:
There is paranoia
If you are the jealous partner and you decide not to resolve it within the soonest possible time, this could lead you to some serious matters. This could affect you not only emotionally but also physically and mentally. If you are hiding that jealous feeling all by yourself, you will tend to think about it over and over again until such a point you can’t get over it. This could greatly affect your body.
Since a paranoid person lacks sleep and does not like to eat, weakness and drowsiness are exhibited during the day. A paranoid person is less likely to do activities that would excite him/her. He/She only thinks of what the partner may be doing or thinking. This could lead to severe anxiety and depression.
A routine is messed up
On the other hand, if you have a jealous partner, it is very difficult for you to sustain a free relationship. Handling a jealous partner is like handling high-end glass chandeliers with care. A jealous partner is very delicate and sensitive to feelings. Make it to the point that you do not upset your partner by giving doubts and ideas to make them feel jealous.
It is expected that because of this behaviour, your daily routine before would not be a routine anymore. Changing schedules to meet the needs of your jealous partner would be necessary as a start to fix this kind of problem in your relationship.
You’ve got to prove yourself every single day
Having a jealous partner means having to prove to him/her that you are faithful and loyal. This could mean proving it forever. This point may suck for you, but it is reality. This is more difficult if you really committed a fault within your relationship. Trust is an important component, and once that trust is gone because of what you did wrong, it is very difficult to get it all back. So if this means proving to yourself that you are sorry every day just to get your relationship better again, go for it.
If you haven’t done anything wrong in the past but still are mandated to prove your loyalty, bringing this up to your partner through a serious talk may be the best solution for the moment.
It is okay to have a healthy amount of jealousy in a relationship when you are concerned that your partner is being dishonest, or is having something that they shouldn’t be doing, but that is it, no one wants their partner to be in a continuous state of jealousy. I’m not suggesting that you don’t get jealous, in fact I believe it is healthy. Jealousy does a few things for you in a relationship. It validates your position in the relationship, your feelings for that person, and allows you to be angry in a healthy and productive way.
Why is jealousy in a relationship bad? There is an enormous misconception that jealousy is always bad. It’s a false assumption, not true. There are jealous people who aren’t bad to live with, they are just jealous and that’s it. They are still good people. So, you have to accept that jealousy in a relationship is not bad by itself. It depends how it’s dealt with.