We all have someone we’ve broken up with, and as painful as it may be to think about, it’s not always that bad to begin the healing process and move on.
The problem is that some of us are so used to thinking about the person and the pain he or she caused that we’ve never really figured out how to get over someone. There’s just a constant “ping” in our heads, and no matter what we do or how much we try to put the hurt of the breakup behind us, it never stops.
I’m going to share five tips that I believe will help you go about the getting over someone process.
Don’t focus on the hurt
One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking about the hurt they’ve been through with a particular person. All that does is give you a reason to stay in pain and carry on.
You can’t heal the pain you still have. You can’t just keep thinking about the things that have happened because then you’ll keep the pain and go on to be depressed or confused. The only way to heal is to move on and get over the person. That means doing things with yourself that you wouldn’t normally do, not constantly thinking about him or her.
He or she won’t be around forever. So you may as well figure out what’s next in your life. It will help you if you do some research on yourself and figure out what makes you happy and what you want to do in life. Don’t let the other person’s actions change how you are. You’re going to have to focus on yourself and your life going forward. That’s the only way you’ll be able to do it and heal.
Don’t compare yourself to him or her
Another mistake people make is comparing themselves to the person they’re trying to move on from. And no matter the situation, it will not help you.
The truth is, no one knows what happened between you. He or she may have caused you pain, but you don’t know the full story. You may have done things that led to the breakup, but he or she may have done things that led to it as well.
So when you compare yourself to them, you will stay stuck in pain. You’re also going to keep making the same decisions, and things will only worsen. You can’t compare yourself to them because the two of you are not the same person. You didn’t do the same thing. If you want to get over them, you can’t compare yourself to them, no matter what they’ve done or how much pain you’ve been through.
You have to be yourself, and you have to follow your own path, not theirs. And remember, when you’re comparing yourself to them, you’re just going to make yourself depressed and unhappy. So, it’s better to stay away from it altogether.
Think of it as a learning experience
Many people have the attitude that it’s something that they’re not going to get over. And the thing is, if you think of it that way, you’re going to make it worse. What if you think that you can’t get over your ex? You may stay stuck in pain and never move on. You may think it will always be there and never go away.
The truth is that there is nothing you can do to make that happen. You can’t just stay in pain because he or she hurt you or because you want to punish him or her. No matter what you do, it will not make the pain disappear. The only way you can move on is if you realize that this is a learning experience. You’re going to learn that people are often hurting other people, and they usually do it by doing the same thing.
The truth is that if you realize that he or she wasn’t there for you, that he or she was just hurting you, then you can move on and learn a lesson that you’ll take with you.
Find something new to focus on
When I think about getting over someone, I think about it in terms of learning something new. I try to find something to focus on and something new to learn to make me happy and feel good.
I’ve always tried to find something to do instead of focusing on the pain and the pain that I was in. I also try to find something that I love doing so that it’s not something I do out of obligation.
I’m not going to lie; there are some times when I don’t want to do the thing I’m doing. There are some things that I just can’t stand doing, so I’ll skip it. But even then, I’ll still find something to do.
For example, when I first got married, I hated when my husband and I would go shopping. It was always so hard to do because I didn’t like to spend money, but I always made him go with me. I hated it so much, but I made myself do it. Eventually, I realized that shopping is just a part of my life that I have to deal with and live with. So I started making the best of it. I still don’t like it, but I made myself at least try to enjoy it, even if I didn’t like it.
I didn’t want to go shopping for the rest of my life, but I realized that I had to go in there and try to enjoy the things I was doing, because there were things I wanted to do. That’s the same with your ex.
Think about what you can do to make the most of the situation. You may not like what he or she did, but trying to make the most of the situation is not all bad. That way, you’ll learn something new and move on.
Think of the relationship as a friendship
One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking of the relationship with the person they’re trying to move on from as a friend. And if you think of it that way, it will change things and make it easier. I find that if I think about the relationship as a friendship, I can get over it easier. I’ll talk to him or her as a friend and figure out what I want to do with my life. I’ll ask him or her what they think about it.
Then, I’ll ask him or her what he or she wants to do, what she’s interested in doing, or what he or she wants to do after the breakup. Then I can make it happen. I can try to find out what we have in common and let it be a friendship if that’s what he or she wants. I can do what I can to help make that happen and live my life moving forward.