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Should I Be Friends With My Husband’s Lover?

You have just found out that your husband has had an affair. You are on an emotional rollercoaster riding from anger to humiliation after going through the tunnel of hurt.

Question upon the question is going through your mind. What is this woman like? Does he love her? Was it just about sex? There is also the unenviable situation of the choices you now have to make. Do you stay and try to rebuild your marriage, or do you bow out gracefully, preserving your dignity?

Every situation is different, so my advice is that you take ideas that are relevant to you and your situation and ones where you really believe that you can follow through. Now is not the time for acting on impulse. Take time to consider your options and what you want.

Modern View of Husband’s Lover

Traditionally, it was thought that a woman should not be friends with her husband’s lover. The thinking was that it would be too emotionally difficult for the woman to see her husband with another woman and that it would be a reminder of her own inadequacies. Additionally, it was thought that the woman would be tempted to betray her husband if she was friends with his lover. However, times have changed, and there is now more acceptance of non-traditional relationships. Additionally, many women find that they are more secure in themselves and their relationships when they can be friends with their husband’s lovers.

Without the affair being just about sex, then it may be wise to consider being your husband’s mistress. It is not conventional, nor will it be easy, but it may just save your marriage.

Evidently, there was something about this woman who attracted your husband to her in the first place. She may be similar to you, just a little more quirky or the polar opposite of you. Either way, would not you want to know? I know I would.

Should You Ask Him to Cut Off From Her?

No doubt you are wondering how befriending the mistress will potentially save your marriage. To begin with, if your husband is in love with this woman, forcing him to cut all contact with her will probably work in the short term but eventually, he could come to resent the fact that you forced him to give her up. This is especially true if whatever was originally missing in your marriage still has not been fixed.

How will you make it work having your husband’s mistress in your life? And more importantly, in his life? Well, for one thing, it will give your husband the chance to see if it was the thrill of the chase and the exclusion of the secret that was after, and I know this part is hard, though he is in love with her. The former generally means that any relationship, friendship or otherwise, will fizzle out very quickly. In the latter, on the other hand, your choice becomes harder and potentially more selfless.

Is there any plus point in being friends with your husband’s lover?

There are several benefits to being friends with one’s husband’s lover. First, it can help to create a more secure relationship with one’s husband. If the husband knows that his wife is friends with his lover, he will be less likely to feel like he has to keep secrets from her. Additionally, it can help to foster communication and trust between the husband and wife.

Second, being friends with one’s husband’s lover can provide the wife with support and understanding. The wife may be able to confide in her husband’s lover about her feelings and worries, and the lover can provide a sounding board and level-headed perspective.

Third, being friends with one’s husband’s mistress can be a way for the wife to feel like she is a part of her husband’s life. If the wife feels excluded from her husband’s life, she may feel jealous or resentful. However, if she is friends with her husband’s lover, she can feel like she is included in his life and that she is important to him.

Fourth, it can help to keep the relationship between the husband and wife exciting. If the wife is friends with her husband’s lover, she can be sure that her husband is always thinking about her and wanting to please her. Additionally, the wife may learn new things about her husband from his lover, which can help to keep the relationship fresh.

Finally, it can help the wife to feel more secure in her own relationship. For example, the wife knows that her husband is attracted to and enjoys spending time with another woman. In that case, she will be less likely to feel insecure about her own attractiveness or desirability.

Negatives of Being Friends With Your Husband’s Lover

Of course, there are also some potential drawbacks to being friends with one’s husband’s lover. First, the wife may develop feelings for her husband’s lover. If this happens, it can be difficult to maintain a platonic relationship.

Second, if the husband and wife are not on good terms, it can be difficult to remain friends with the husband’s lover. Additionally, if the husband’s lover is also friends with the wife’s lover, it can create a complicated web of relationships.

Third, the husband’s lover may feel like she competes with the wife. If the husband’s lover feels like the wife is constantly judging her, it can create tension in the relationship.

Fourth, the husband’s lover may try to take advantage of the fact that she is friends with the wife. For example, the husband’s lover may try to get the wife to do things that she would not normally do, or she may try to get the wife to divulge information about the husband that she would not normally share.

Finally, it is possible that being friends with the husband’s lover will strain the relationship between the husband and wife. It can create jealousy and resentment if the wife feels like she has to spend more time with the husband’s lover than with her husband.

Conclusion

Overall, being friends with one’s husband’s lover has both positives and negatives. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to be friends with the husband’s lover should be made by the wife, based on her own comfort level and the dynamics of her relationship with her husband.

If your husband has a lover there are a few things you can do. You can try to talk to him about it and see if he is willing to end the affair. You can also try to work on your marriage and make it stronger. If you have children, you need to think about what is best for them. You may also want to consult with a lawyer to see what your legal options are.

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