A rebound relationship may be easy to detect as it has many of the same characteristics as a normal relationship but they don’t have the long-term commitment in place that most normal relationships do.
We probably all did it and wondered later what possessed us to do such a thing when we were only beginning to grieve for our recent loss.
So why do we do it? Lock horns with a new romantic interest even though our perfume was probably lingering on our ex-partner’s pillow slip.
Depending on how it ended, we may not feel compelled to revisit the pers. Still, we crave the closeness and familiarity of the relationship itself.
I was explaining this to a friend who had recently been through a break-up to be told quite indignantly that she was not interested in her ex, just finding someone new. Her words said it all: why would anyone want to hook up with someone so FAST after a five-year relationship?
She leapt with urgency and was convinced she was in love with the first guy she met. Knowing everyone has their journey, I stayed reticent on the sidelines while she got hurt instantly and then proceeded to date another guy where the same thing happened.
The thing is, she swore black and blue. She was over her ex-partner, and even though this was probably true, she was not ready to commit to a new meaningful relationship. After the second guy did not measure up, she realised there was much to be said about this thing called a REBOUND LOVE.
What had happened was my friend was missing the ingredients that make up a relationship cake. She was adamant that her ex-partner was no longer the right man for her anymore, which is fine, but she was unaware that the relationship initially worked because they wanted to be together.
You see, you meet someone, fall in love and decide you want to build a life together. After dating, you choose to move in together and start buying things for your love nest and making it into your home. You may get married and have children, buy a house and make new friends, all the things that bind you together and make you no longer just a couple but a family.
Possible Consequences in Rebound Love
You are living the dream and believe with all your heart that it will be this way for the rest of your life.
Suddenly the dream of a happy ever after has ended as the light has gone out on the relationship, and nothing could be done to fix it.
You are a mix of emotions. You at first feel relief that a resolution has been made, but he is soon out shadowed by feelings of loss, sadness and GRIEF. You ended the relationship, so you cannot understand why you would feel this way and find the feelings so overpowering you want to find a way to snuff them out.
Lying in your bed at night alone, you are not missing your ex, but you wish there were someone next to you holding you the way he used to, making you feel safe and warm. This makes a significant RELATIONSHIP so hard to overcome because it is a union of two people who come together to create something far more important than themselves. When two become one again, losing that way of life can be devastating.
So rebound love is a way of finding the comfort and security you may have experienced in your last relationship.
The dangers of rebounding are more hurt and confusion, as you may not be aware of your baggage. Some sure-fire ways to tell if you are in a relationship with someone on the rebound are as follows.
1. Is your new guy constantly talking about his ex? It is not important whether they say good or bad things about them, just because he has not let go.
2. Does he carry photos of his ex in his wallet? Ouch, that is going to be a real turn-off to you, I think.
3. How long has it been since he broke up with his partner because if it is not too long, you better know he is on the rebound and could be out of the new one with you as fast as he came in.
I am not discounting the fact that many beautiful love stories have emerged from a rebound relationship, but I am urging you to be aware of what you are getting yourself into if you choose a rebound love.
A rebound relationship is a painful experience. But if you are careful about the things that you do, the end result is better. But if you do something that causes the other person to not want to be with you again, you will be alone and your relationships in the rebound will be the same as before.