Rebound love occurs when a person has been in a long-term relationship and jumps headfirst into a brand new one. Excuse the terminology but this is pretty much how it happens.
We have probably all done it and wondered later what possessed us to do such a thing when we were only beginning to grieve for our recent loss.
So why do we do it? Lock horns with a new romantic interest even though our perfume was probably still lingering on our ex partner’s pillow slip.
The reason is we may not feel compelled to revisit the person in the last relationship depending on how it ended but we crave the closeness and familiarity of the relationship itself.
I was explaining this to a friend who had recently been through a break up to be told quite indignantly that she was not interested in her ex just finding someone new. Her words said it all as why would anyone want to hook up with someone so FAST after a 5 year relationship?
She took the leap of urgency and was convinced she was in love with the first guy she met. Knowing that everyone has their own journey I stayed very quiet on the sidelines while she got hurt instantly and then proceeded to date another guy where the same thing happened again.
The thing is she swore black and blue she was over her ex partner and even though this was probably true she was not ready to commit to a new meaningful, relationship just yet. After the second guy did not measure up she began to realize that there was a lot to be said about this thing called a REBOUND LOVE.
What had actually happened was my friend was missing the ingredients that make up a relationship cake.
She was adamant that her ex partner was no longer the right man for her anymore which is fine but she was not aware that the relationship originally worked because both of them wanted to be together.
You see you meet someone, fall in love and decide you want to build a life together. After a period of dating you decide to move in together and start buying things for your love nest and making it into your home. You may get married and have children, buy a house and make new friends all the things that bind you together and make you no longer just a couple but a family.
You are living the dream and believe with all your heart that it will be this way for the rest of your life.
Suddenly the dream of a happy ever after has ended as the light has gone out on the relationship and nothing could be done to fix it.
You are a mix of emotions. You at first feel relief that a resolution has been made but his is soon out shadowed by feelings of loss, sadness and GRIEF. You ended the relationship so you cannot understand why you would feel this way and find the feelings so overpowering you just want to find a way to snuff them out.
Lying in your bed at night alone you are not missing your ex but you wish there were someone next to you holding you the way he used to, making you feel safe and warm. This is what makes a significant RELATIONSHIP so hard to get over because it is a union of two people who come together to create something far bigger than themselves. When two becomes one again the loss of that way of life can be devastating.
So rebound love is a way of finding the comfort and security you may have experienced in your last relationship.
The dangers of rebounding are more hurt and confusion, as you may not be aware of the baggage you are carrying. Some sure-fire ways to tell if you are in a relationship with someone on the rebound are as follows.
1. Is your new guy constantly talking about his ex? It is not important whether they say good or bad things about them just the fact that he has not let go.
2. Does he carry photos of his ex in his wallet? Ouch that is going to be a real turn-off to you I think.
3. How long has it been since he broke up with his partner because if it is not too long you better know he is on the rebound and could be out of the new one with you as fast as he came in.
I am not discounting the fact that there have been many beautiful love stories emerge from a rebound relationship but I am urging you to be aware of what you are getting yourself into if you choose a rebound love.