Are you in a relationship that feels like it’s more work than it’s worth? If you find yourself constantly fighting with your partner, feeling unappreciated, or just generally unhappy, it might be time to walk away.
This is one of the hardest things that you will ever do. The difficulty depends on how long you were in the dysfunctional relationship, the extent of your partner’s dysfunction and how much of your self-esteem they were able to erode.
If you want to leave a dysfunctional relationship but are confused because of all the emotional turmoil your dysfunctional partner has created in you, you have come to the right place.
A dysfunctional relationship is an extremely painful one that you can’t handle any longer. At some point, you have to stand up and walk away. In this article, I will share the steps you can take to walk away.
1. Don’t stay in a relationship just to make him/her happy
This is the most common reason why people stay with an abusive person. If you are not committed to changing your situation in life and want to stay together, you need to know the cost of staying. If you are unhappy with your life in general, you are not willing to invest your time and energy in a relationship that will make you unhappy. You can’t be happy if you are miserable.
If you are in a relationship and you are feeling miserable with the relationship, it is time to start considering what you are doing and how you can move on with your life. If the relationship is not helping you in any way, you need to walk away.
There are several reasons why you shouldn’t stay in a dysfunctional relationship. It is one of the things that will make your life easier. Your mental health, money, and future are at stake if you stay.
I cannot overemphasise this starting point. This must come from you; well, meaning friends cannot do it for you. You must come to the point in your relationship where you make up your mind that you can no longer live like this. It cannot be a half-hearted decision. Otherwise, you will just slip back into the relationship. You must get a vision for what you want from a relationship and list the shortfalls of this dysfunctional relationship.
What are the advantages of your dysfunctional relationship? What are the disadvantages? Are you sure that you cannot live with the disadvantages to enjoy the advantages? You cannot walk away from a dysfunctional relationship until you are sure.
2. Make a clean break.
Do not stay one more day once you have decided…and physically leave! If possible, move to another area, but cut all ties with your dysfunctional partner if that is not possible. If you have been with them for a long time, they will know which buttons to push, and you should not give them that opportunity.
Remember the relationship you want for yourself as a constant reminder when you feel weak and want to return to your dysfunctional partner. Remember you are partial to their dysfunctions as you have to learn t how to live with them.
Everyone thinks you should be glad to be free, but you are not. However dysfunctional your partner was, you did love them, and you remember the few good times you grieved for what you had lost and the things you allowed them to do. Do not pretend that it is well; it is not well and if you feel despondent, let your emotions run their course. Do not get stuck in this stage but do not hurry through it.
You will know when the cloud begins to lift. Stay connected with your normal life during this period, as being involved in life will help you keep living and getting out of bed.
Do not rush into a new relationship but heal from what has happened. Honestly, evaluate yourself and see how the dysfunctional relationship changed you. If you no longer trust your decisions, you must either learn to trust yourself again or seek professional help. It is unlikely that you left a dysfunctional relationship unscathed, and you need to identify the wounds that you bear as a result. And you must not just identify the wounds; you must find a way to heal them. Do not take these wounds into another relationship as the responsibility to heal you is yours; do not expect a new partner to do it for you.
If you do not heal, you will likely attract another dysfunctional partner. Dysfunctional people can spot damaged people that they can prey on. Do you want this to be the story of your life?
Walking away from a dysfunctional relationship takes great emotional strength, but you must come to terms with it and find a way to repair the damage caused by the dysfunction.