As a woman looking for love, you have probably realised that many guys do not get along well with other guys.
While you may feel confident in yourself and your womanhood, you are fortunate that you are not stuck with an unattractive partner who may bring you a lot of embarrassment.
What you must know is that not all guys are the same. There are some attractive men, and there are others you can get away from when you catch their glance.
While you may not notice the types of guys that do not work, the types of men you end up with may surprise you. Let us help you identify some of the guys that do not meet your expectations.
1. You don’t draw the boundaries
If a man wants to get intimate with you, he can. He can if he wants to disrespect or make fun of you. He can if he wants to say he’ll call but never does. He walks all over you because he can and because you let him. Draw the boundaries. Otherwise, you’ll find that men will do WHATEVER they want to, regardless of how you feel about it.
2. You tell them not to like you because you don’t like yourself
You give off the vibe that you hate yourself and don’t value yourself. When you talk to men, you downsize and show your insecurities in your self-sabotaging comments and jokes about yourself. This tells them that you are a low-quality woman, and thus they treat you like one.
3. You jump into bed too early
You try to snag him by jumping into bed with him, but that only backfires when you realise he only wanted a one-night stand. NEVER become intimate with a man early on; if he is TRULY into you, he won’t make that a requirement and will not rush into intimacy with you.
4. You don’t think you can accomplish your goals without a man
You want a house, kids, and stable life…and you sit there telling men how you need to settle down with a guy to get these things. This comes across as being utterly needy and even creepy at times and tells him that you’re not really willing to give yourself anything on your own and instead expect a man to provide you with the life you desire.
5. You expect commitment instantly
You just met the guy, and already you are strangling him with commitment talks and expectations. The quickest way to scare a man off is by making him feel like you are trying to trap him, which talking about commitment does! If a man wants to commit, he doesn’t want to be told to do it; he wants to CHOOSE it, which you don’t allow him to do when you initially come on too strong.
6. You’re extremely bossy
You talk about everything he has to do for you and get for you, and he thinks you’re just a spoiled brat who needs to grow up. He’s never going to let you boss him around or tell him what to do and will probably throw that in your face to teach you a lesson.
7. You don’t give him space
A man will become a complete jerk when you deprive him of space and when you deprive him of his “personal” time alone and away from you. Men will ARGUE and cause a huge fight to have a valid reason to leave you; otherwise, they’d never be able to get some time alone.
8. You’re too touchy
He says one small thing, and it offsets you so much that you start crying or arguing for 3 hours about it, and you can’t drop anything or let anything go. He doesn’t want to feel like he’s walking on eggshells around you, so instead, he will dump you on the sidelines and find someone who isn’t so touchy.
9. You let him take you for granted
You give him so much early on, without him having to EARN it or WORK for it, that he takes you for granted. His ego is inflated because he is getting you to do everything for him without working for it…thus, he doesn’t appreciate you, and you mean nothing to him…because it’s just YOU who is chasing him. He’ll treat you like crap as a result.
10. You let men determine your mood
How other guys see you, their attraction, etc. determines your mood. So, if you’re rejected or he doesn’t call you, you’ll be depressed. In the same way, talking to him or hearing him like you makes you feel better. Men notice this and may play around with you to obtain a reaction, which suggests they are not sincere and are instead amusing themselves at your expense.
11. You’re too submissive
While it’s true that men desire to be in charge, being too submissive makes them want power. That’s because you began out as a submissive and conditioned people only to wish you when you’re subservient.
This is why they never let you make decisions, have any say or control, and abuse you when you try to put your foot down.
12. You tell men to judge you
You talk about your problems, past relationships, mistakes, etc. You ask him what he thinks or what his input is, which is like asking him to judge you. He, of course, WILL believe you and then sound like a complete jerk. But, that’s your fault for giving him permission to criticise and judge you so heavily to begin with.
13. You don’t uphold your morals
You tell a guy that you’re a good and clean girl, yet not even 5 minutes later, you act completely different to try and win him over when your first approach doesn’t work. Men won’t want to commit to women who can’t uphold their morals, and would often view these women as being low-class, easy takes.
14. You change everything to be with a guy
It’s not natural that you’re suddenly interested in everything he is, and he notices it’s fake. He knows that you’re just pretending and altering your entire life to show him that you have things in common. Some guys may take advantage of this wrongly when they realise it and may introduce you to bad habits, poor choices, and other things to get what they want.
15. You don’t stand up for yourself
He’ll pick on you or do something that is completely rude, and you don’t stand up for yourself and don’t speak up to let him know that it’s something you dislike or that it’s something unacceptable. When you don’t stand up for yourself, you tell a man that continuing the behaviour is alright because he doesn’t know otherwise and will probably increase poor behaviour.
16. You don’t respect yourself
Instead, you expect men to respect you because that’s the only way you can feel good and the only way you can get respect. But, it starts from within, and a man will NEVER respect a woman who does not respect herself…because he doesn’t have a REASON to. The ONLY reason a man would do something is to clarify it by doing it herself first.
17. You initiate everything
Even if he LETS you create something, it’s only because it’s easier for him, and it means he can get what he wants with little to no effort. It’s every guy’s dream to have easy girls chasing after them, which you appear to be when you initiate everything. Genuine men will ALWAYS begin the important things first, such as getting your phone number, taking you on a date, starting a relationship, moving in together etc…
18. You try to change him
If you HAVE to change a man, he’s not the right guy for you! Put it this way: if he was what you wanted, would you have to change him? While it’s true that everyone can IMPROVE, nagging a man to change is like saying that who they are right now is not acceptable to you. If it’s not OK, why are you chasing him? He won’t change just because you come along and tell him to; instead, you’ll probably change before he does!
19. You fail to leave when he doesn’t commit
He dodges the topic of commitment, doesn’t want to talk about the future, and runs away from the idea of marriage. But, you stick around still thinking that it will work out and that he will do it…but this is when you SHOULD leave. You only hurt yourself more when you stay with a man who has no intentions of committing, simply because you HOPE he will.
20. You accept the “friendship zone.”
He says he isn’t ready to date again and tells you he wants to stay single. He also tells you that he wants to be friends instead…and OH BOY did you ever throw yourself under the bus by accepting that kind of a LIE from men. It’s a HUGE lie and an excuse when men say that they don’t want a relationship now because they ARE looking, but they don’t want to commit to you.
21. You want men to fix your life
You have all kinds of problems and expect men to come in like valiant knights or magical prince charming and fix everything. Men sense this, and instead of adding to your concerns, they rebel and ADD to your problems. They don’t want to be treated like a doormat that you step on and wipe your feet off, and they don’t want to be part of all the drama that is your own life that you can’t even fix.
22. You use men
Men get the vibe that you use them because you might only seem interested in their money, vehicle (transportation), connections (business, friends, hobbies, etc.), or you might treat them like they are a trophy. They sense this and retaliate by using you back, which means they may use you for attention, sex, an ego boost etc.
23. You don’t deliver
You impress him when you first meet, and he gets this idea that you are this amazing chick because you told him you were… but when he sees you the next time you are just dull, he sees right through you and thinks you don’t deliver.
But, just because you don’t deliver on all the things he wants, that doesn’t mean that he still can’t use you for something or, rather, which he will, and when he’s finished, he’ll dump you, which will be pretty fast.
24. You expect men to entertain you
You go out with men because you are bored or want something to do. You are looking for entertainment, and he sees it when you constantly ask him to take you places and don’t really seem to be interested in him as a person but rather seem more interested in what entertains you. This will make him start to disrespect you and lose interest, which makes him not care about hurting your feelings because he thinks you don’t care either.
25. You never agree with men
You often think they are wrong and always argue with them. They get sick and tired of being nagged and, in turn, start to act out against you because they can’t handle it anymore. If you can’t ever agree with a man or find some common ground, it should be obvious that he, in turn, won’t agree with you and will only take his side and want things his way.