Ways To Improve Your Relationship
There is a lot of work that goes into making a good relationship. You don’t have to work hard to maintain excellent physical health with regular exercise, a healthy diet, and stress management techniques.
There are seven decisions you can make that can not only enhance your relationship but can also change a failed relationship into a thriving one.
Take Charge of Your Own Life
One of the ways to improve your relationship is to take charge of your own life. That’s the most critical decision you can make in order to strengthen your relationship. In other words, you learn to take charge of your own emotions and needs.
In other words, instead than relying on your spouse to make you feel happy and safe, you learn to do so on your own. To put it another way, this is learning to treat oneself with compassion, care, and acceptance rather than self-criticism. No matter how beautifully your spouse is treating you, you will always be miserable and insecure because of your own self-judgment.
To put it another way, instead of pouncing on your spouse when he or she is late, preoccupied, or uninterested in your conversation because you feel abandoned, you would go within and find how you are leaving yourself.
You stop blaming your spouse when you learn to accept full responsibility for your own woes. One of the most common causes of relationship breakdowns is blaming a spouse for one’s own misery, thus knowing how to take loving care of oneself is essential.
Compassion, Kindness, and Acceptance
Don’t expect anything less from others than what they expect from you. In order to have a really spiritual life, you need to do this. It is our deepest desire to be treated with compassion, understanding, and acceptance by others. We must treat ourselves and others this way, and we must do the same for ourselves. When both partners are kind to one another, relationships develop. Treating somebody with compassion typically results in their returning the favour.
Focusing on what would be loving for yourself rather than on turning back to anger, blame, judgement, withdrawal or compliance is the best course of action if your spouse is regularly abrasive and judgemental. Kindness does not necessitate self-sacrifice. The most essential thing you can do is take responsibility for your own actions instead of pointing the finger at others.
If your spouse is continuously angry, blaming, withdrawing, and inaccessible, and you are consistently kind to yourself and your partner, then you must either accept a distant relationship or quit it. You can only alter yourself, not your relationship.
Learning instead of Teaching
This means that you have two options when it comes to dealing with conflict: you may be willing to learn more about your spouse, or you can try to win or at least avoid losing by acting as if you have the upper hand. Overt and subtle strategies of manipulating people into behaving the way we want are learned by us all: blaming and blaming and blaming and blaming and blaming and blaming and so on. All of our attempts to exert control only serve to exacerbate the situation. The key to strengthening your relationship is remembering to focus on learning rather than controlling.
For example, the fear of abandonment – of losing the other – and the fear of engulfment – of losing oneself – are two significant anxieties that are triggered in partnerships. In response to the activation of these anxieties, the majority of individuals engage in regulating behaviour to protect themselves. Instead of attempting to exert control over your spouse, you should focus on learning about your own concerns. Learning instead of dominating is how we develop our emotional and spiritual selves.
Create Date Times
In the early stages of a relationship, people make time for one another. After they are married, they get quite busy. A relationship needs time to grow. When you and your partner are in a committed relationship, it is essential that you set aside time to spend together. Without quality time spent together, it’s impossible to sustain a healthy level of intimacy.
Gratitude Over Complaints
When two people have an “attitude of appreciation,” positive energy flows between them. It’s not enjoyable to be around someone who is often complaining. Rather of focusing on what you lack, focus on what you have. Thankfulness not only improves one’s emotional and interpersonal well-being but also one’s health on a cellular level.
Fun and Play
The phrase “work makes Jack a dull lad” is well-known. Relationships might become stale if work isn’t combined with fun. When individuals are able to laugh and play with one another on a regular basis, their relationships grow. Keep things in perspective and don’t take everything so seriously. When things aren’t too weighty, it’s easier to become close to someone.
Volunteering together is a great way to deepen your relationship. Giving to others makes you feel good within and fills your spirit with joy. Doing good detaches you from your troubles and allows you to see things from a different perspective.
What a difference it will make if you and your partner agree on these seven options!