What starts off as harmlessly friendly or flirtatious can often blur over lines you never could have expected at first. Emotional and physical connections in relationships can blur, and something that at first was once innocent can become complicated. Boundaries can be crossed when there is self-awareness of the situation, honesty, and the willingness to look into what is actually going on between you and someone else.
Interested to know if a close friendship or casual flirtation with someone could be crossing over into something much more serious? It’s worth looking for some tell-tale signs that may be blossoming into an affair. Increased secrecy to emotional intimacy rivalling your primary relationship, knowing these indicators might help you make considered choices regarding the nature and future of your connections.
Here are five signs that your flirtation or friendship has become an affair and what should you do in such circumstances before it’s too late.
1. Increased Physical Contact
Some of the indicators that your flirting or friendship is turning into an affair is increased bodily contact. Just because you always hug each other, it does not mean your love affair is in the offing. Although casual touches and embraces are normal parts of a platonic relationship, frequent and extended touching may signify that there is something deeper going on.
Observe how often you find yourself in touch with the other person. Touching the other person lightly with hands, lingering embraces, accidental brushing of bodies-it may be an urgent moment to analyze the relationship.
2. Secret Meetings and Conversations
On the other hand, when you’re having a flirtation or friendship that would cross to the affair level, it tends to be covert. You probably catch yourself making plans to meet secretly, avoid spots where you are seen, or have long conversations over the phone at late hours of the night or early morning hours.
This kind of secrecy can be a means by which you try to hide your feelings and actions from other people, especially your partner or loved ones. Therefore, if you do everything in your power to keep the interaction a private one, then surely it is time to reassess whether the relationship has become inappropriate.
3. Jealousy and Possessiveness
There is sometimes a growing sense of jealousy and possessiveness as the affair takes root. This is when you may find yourself becoming jealous of their interactions with other people or wanting to control their time and attention.
These feelings may be tough to admit, but they can often be an indication that your feelings for a person are changing and growing beyond a friendship. If you feel strong jealousy or possessiveness, then sit down and honestly talk it out with yourself and the other person as well.
4. Time and attention
Having good or even close friends of the opposite sex outside of marriage is more common today than in the past. Like other friendships and relationships, these require time and attention to nurture and grow. But if that time and attention comes at the expense of your spouse – and is not reasonably required by work or professional demands, civic duties or other unusual obligations – then you may have stepped across an important line. Add an increase in affection for this person to the mixture, and you may be playing with fire.
Now, this is not a call to avoid the often complicated and fascinating relationships that can grow between members of the opposite sex outside marriage. You may be passing over valuable confidants, mentors, and others who can enrich your life or friends for your spouse will enjoy, as well.
This is especially so in an age of global travel and long-distance friendships nourished by today’s instant communications. That would be overly restrictive and confining. But be aware that the fundamental chemistry between men and women can complicate or get in the way of even a healthy and entirely appropriate relationship.
5. Daydreams and fantasies
Some daydreams or fantasies, for instance, about how great it would be to have friends of the opposite sex who are not your spouse, can be great diversions. This mental exercise is an interesting one if it motivates you to celebrate life and the partner you already have.
Unless you are unilaterally dissatisfied in your marriage, thoughts like these should be brief and occasional. But if you find yourself musing repeatedly about alternatives to your spouse, particularly if those musings lead you to yearn after or lust after another person, then a closer look at yourself and at your marriage is in order.
While physical intimacy is often the defining feature of infidelity, beware of emotional and other forms of involvement that lead to betrayal. A romance outside marriage can often do far more damage than a drunken one-night stand that passes without further involvement.
Conclusion
The most significant aspect in checking the signs that your flirting or friendship may become an affair is that you should be able to make yourself and others healthy and full of life. So, watch out for physical contact, secrecy, jealousy, and priority changes-which can be indicators that something needs attention.
Honesty, open communication, and self-awareness are some of the many appreciable aspects of navigating human relationships’ complexities.