Are you ready to commit to long-distance love, and your man has cold feet? This is a challenging situation, but my experience can provide the right kind of advice for your long-distance relationship to flourish.
You need to ask yourself some fundamental questions if he is afraid to get into the relationship. I think my advice below will not only help you identify the issue but also find a remedy for it.
How well do you know each other? My girlfriend and I have been together for ten months and couldn’t be happier. I think a lot of that has to do with the amount of work we do on building the actual bond between us. It began with a lot of old-fashioned “getting to know each other”.
We went from A to B to C in a stereotypical relationship. What do you do? Where did you go to college? Where are you from? Simple things like that go a long way in learning about a person. Not only that, but they segue into other conversations and subjects that will build even more links between you.
Perhaps your man has some cold feet because he has reservations. After all, his heart isn’t convinced that he knows you well enough to commit. I think a great place to start if your man isn’t interested in asking if your foundations are well built.
Physical Connection – Another place to look if your man is afraid to commit to a long-distance relationship is the strength of your physical connection and more specifically, his needs. It can be tough to “feel out”, but men need a physical contact with their mate, and the very definition of a long-distance relationship makes that difficult.
Try to find out his physical needs without asking directly. You can pick up on his signals by the amount of touching he does while you are together. Is he constantly holding your hand or twirling your hair? How often does he kiss you? How frequent are sexual interactions? I think you can get a pretty good idea of his needs by just reading the clues he is leaving, but if not, than perhaps it is best just to come out and ask.
Be aware of the fact that these types of things can be challenging to talk about if you aren’t used to them, so tread lightly. Frame the conversation with more minor talk and then just come out with it. Say something like, “We both have needs from a physical standpoint and I just want to make sure you feel open to talk about yours.”
That will ease any awkwardness, and hopefully, he’ll be able to express what is going on from that standpoint. If you don’t think it is a lack of physical connection, nor you two not knowing each other well enough, than lets look to his other options for some more reasons, he is afraid to commit.
The third thing would be What are his other options? Think about this one long and hard because he might not give you the full story of why he isn’t interested in jumping into a long-distance relationship. My honest advice is that he may just be saying he is scared to commit to an LDR when he has other options in reality. His other options might include other love interests or wanting to be single.
I think the hardest to spot is the latter: wanting to be single. He would say to you, “I’d rather go it alone than commit myself to a long-distance relationship”. That is a tough thing to tell if he cares about you, though, especially if he cares about your feelings being hurt. You must realize that the prospects of a long-distance relationship are pretty grim, so the long-term gain must outweigh the difficulties inherent in an LDR.
He might also have another love interest in mind. This could be difficult to compete with, especially if that other person lives in the same area. If you suspect this is the case, you should bring it up. “Are you afraid to enter into our relationship because there is someone else that is a closer distance to you?” is a great question to ask.
If you don’t ask and you suspect something like this, you’ll regret it because you’ll always wonder what is going on. You’ll be beating yourself up by checking his Facebook daily to see whether he is in a relationship or if there are pictures of him with someone else. My advice is, to be honest and analyze his situation; he may have other options that he feels are better routes.
Conclusively, the best long-distance relationship advice is to be honest in evaluating where your relationship is at regarding how well you know each other. He isn’t committed to something that already has the odds stacked against him if he doesn’t feel he knows you that well. Also, consider his other options and weigh the physical connection he will demand.