Relationship Advice

When Your Ex Boyfriend Wants to Be Friends

It is a situation many women find themselves in: your ex-boyfriend expresses a desire to remain friends after the breakup. This request can leave you wondering, what does it really mean?

Is he genuinely interested in maintaining a platonic connection, or is there something more to it? In order to navigate this situation effectively, it’s essential to understand the underlying motives behind his desire for friendship.

There’s an old, cheesy saying that when your ex-lover wants to be friends with you after a breakup, he’s still in love with you, or he was never in love with you to begin with.

While this makes the situation even more complicated and could leave you more confused, there are several well-received reasons in society – to which men admit as well – that explain why your former lover would want, to keep the ties: this time not with love, but with friendship.


He’s not ready to let go

But he’s not ready to jump back into the relationship you two just ended either. He’s still in love with you, but he needs a break. But he’s not entirely sure if a permanent break would be what he really wants. He wants to keep the communications open, to see you occasionally, and to keep you in his life because he’s just not quite ready to let you go.

You must be careful when an ex-boyfriend wants to be friends because he’s not ready to let you go. Because you two had reasons for ending the relationship. Being friends (which, in post-breakup vocabulary, only means the same relationship without the benefit of physical intimacy) can be dangerous territory.

Remember that as friends, there is no commitment. And so he can catch up with you now and then, be the same sweet guy he is, and have you falling for him even more deeply, only leaving you in the end because the friendship wasn’t working for him either. It could be the other way around, of course. It can nurture the bond you two share and lead back to reconciliation.

He’s keeping you for casual encounters.

We all know men can be cruel, especially when they want sex and just sex. If your relationship ended without a third party, it might take a while for your ex to find a suitable rebound girl.

While some men are comfortable paying for sexual services, others are not and; these select males would rather resort to sustaining sexual relations with an ex for many reasons: familiarity, trust, an established bond, and pleasure.

When an ex-boyfriend wants to be friends, you can be positive and think that maybe he is sincere with his approach. But also keep an eye open. He could wish to be friends so that he can continue sleeping with you. In that case, your ex is not looking for a simple friend in you. He wants a friend with benefits.

He really does see you as a friend now.

Relating back to the cheesy statement mentioned earlier, your ex-boyfriend may not have been in love with you from the very beginning. And because he was never in love with you, it will be easy for him to maintain that level of connection. He feels comfortable having you in his life without the complication of a messy relationship and the demands of commitment and dating.

Since he does enjoy your company, perhaps, or he truly sees you as a friend that he would love to be a part of his life, then your ex-boyfriend would propose friendship after your relationship dies. You have to truly consider your ex’s personality, use whatever knowledge you have about his background and personality, and listen to your gut. When an ex-boyfriend wants to be friends, it could mean many things. Do not be blind to the signs. Keep your heart open, but your eyes more even.

Assessing his actions and words

When trying to decode your ex-boyfriend’s true intentions, it’s crucial to assess his actions and words since the breakup. These will provide valuable insight into his motives.

Consider whether he has been consistent in maintaining contact and engaging in meaningful conversations. Does he make an effort to stay connected and find out how you’re doing? Genuine care and active communication can indicate that he values your friendship.

Furthermore, it’s important to evaluate whether he respects your boundaries and personal space. Does he accept your decision to break up and give you the necessary breathing room? Respect for your autonomy suggests a genuine desire for friendship rather than an ulterior motive.

Communicating effectively

Open and honest communication is vital when navigating the delicate terrain of post-breakup friendships. It’s crucial to express your feelings and concerns about reestablishing a friendship with your ex-boyfriend.

Share your thoughts on what you expect from a friendship and your intentions moving forward. By opening up about your emotional boundaries, you can both set realistic expectations and ensure that neither party gets hurt in the process.

Similarly, encourage your ex-boyfriend to share his perspective on why he wants to be friends. This dialogue will help you gain a better understanding of his motives and whether they align with your own intentions.

The importance of closure

Before deciding to be friends with your ex-boyfriend, it’s essential to consider the role of closure in the healing process. Closure allows you to move on from the past relationship and make space for new experiences.

Take the time to reflect on whether maintaining contact with your ex-boyfriend will hinder your own emotional well-being. Assess whether you are ready and emotionally prepared to embark on a platonic friendship, or if it will only serve to prolong the healing process.

Choosing the right path

Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether being friends with your ex-boyfriend is the right choice. Consider the potential outcomes and weigh them against your personal needs and goals.

Rekindling a romance is one possible outcome when staying friends with an ex-boyfriend. While this can be a pleasant surprise, it’s important to approach it with caution and ensure that both parties genuinely desire to give the relationship another chance.

Developing a healthy and supportive friendship is another potential outcome. If both individuals are emotionally ready and have clearly defined boundaries, a genuine friendship can be a positive experience for both parties involved.

On the other hand, it’s also possible to realize that maintaining contact is not beneficial for either party. If the motives behind wanting to be friends are unclear or if the potential friendship comes with emotional baggage, it may be best to part ways amicably and focus on individual growth.


Interpreting the intentions behind your ex-boyfriend’s desire to be friends is crucial for navigating post-breakup dynamics effectively. By understanding the context, assessing his actions and words, communicating openly, prioritizing closure, and considering the potential outcomes, you can make a well-informed decision that aligns with your emotional well-being and personal goals.

Remember, it’s always important to prioritize your own needs and emotions when considering whether to remain friends with an ex-boyfriend. Ultimately, the choice is yours to make based on what feels right for you.

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